when is enough enough

Last night he was over and we did our normal ritual of having an end of day conversation. He tells me he loves me and can't imagine his life without me. He tells me I'm amazing, wonderful and that he needs me. He says all the things I long to hear but in my heart I feel like saying, I know you say these things but if you truly meant them then you wouldn't need to find love elsewhere. I'm not sure what he's finding elsewhere I just know that he is continuing his search while trying to convince me I'm the only one.

The thing that disturbs me is that we aren't married, there is nothing holding him to staying in our relationship. He can get up and leave anytime he wants. If he is interested in pursuing other interests why not just go. Why not free himself up so that he can fully invest in this other person. Since we met he has always spent the majority of his free time with me. The only time that he is truly able to date is a couple of hours on Sunday when he lies and tells me he is going to see his dad and during the week between school and work. Honestly he has less free time than I do and yet he has somehow managed to figure out how to date me and try to spend time with other women.

I keep asking myself as he is talking why I don't just say, it's enough just go. What your looking for I cannot provide, I'm not interested in being second or even first but with a second or even third in the running. I can't completely let go because there is all this fear. I am afraid of going back to my lonely nights and to having no one call me. But then I think really what does it matter because everything he says and does appears to be a lie. I can't trust what he says or does. I can't be sure that when he talks to me that he doesn't say the same thing to her.

So the question remains when is enough enough? When do I get to a point of saying..I really can't stand this and all of your lies so I choose to walk away.